Monday, October 17, 2016

I'm Pregnant!

31 July 2016
Yeap, as you can see from the title, Guy and I are expecting a baby!

If you don't know who Guy is, or never even knew that I had a significant other, here it is: "Guy" is his "stage name", his real life name is something along the line of "Jesse", so you might've heard me mentioning this name on my Snapchat or videos, but essentially, Guy and Jesse are both the same person (though I prefer to use the name Guy on my blog), and he is my boyfriend of more than three years.

I'm writing this on 31 July in Taipei because I'm not supposed to announce the news until my second trimester, but I want to jot everything down while the memory is still fresh in my mind.

So yea, back to us having a baby. Guy and I have been talking about marriage and starting a family for a long time, we both always knew it's gonna happen sooner or later. And we've also discussed the possibilities of us trying for kids before getting married. Now, let me just put this out there, Guy and I are not married at this point, we will sign the papers before the baby pops out but our wedding dinner will most probably be postponed to next year, after I give birth that is. Despite living in the year 2016, I know these sort of arrangement is still quite a taboo in the Chinese community, but this is entirely our own decisions for our lives, and I'm definitely not gonna squeeze into my wedding dress with a big pregnant belly just so that I can please everybody. Besides, planning a wedding is super stressful and I don't want any unnecessary stress during the pregnancy.

With that said, lets get into how I found out. I was getting similar symptoms as my usual PMS, like tender breasts and mild cramps on my lower abdomen, but a little more intense than how it normally was, my boobs were so sore even taking a shower hurts. Being pregnant was honestly not on the top of my list then because I've heard stories of how people try for months or even years to get pregnant, and I just never thought that it could be this easy for me as Guy and I only decided to start trying the month before. So I naturally threw the thought to the back of my head, and continued to wait it out. More than a week had passed, the symptoms were still there, and my period was no where to be found. Also, just a quick mention that my menstrual cycles are always quite on time, of course I've experienced late periods but it was never ever more than a week late.

Guy is based in Taiwan so we would FaceTime each other almost on the daily. I mentioned my period being late and he too kinda shrugged it off because we were travelling together quite a lot right before that (it was a back to back trip to Gili Islands and Korea), so the travel stress might have just messed up my system a bit. But soon enough, we began to suspect a pregnancy and I told him I will take a test that weekend when I'm in Taiwan with him (which is today as I'm typing this), because if the result is positive, I didn't want to be alone.

But knowing me, who can't stand the unknown, decided to whip out my almost-expired pregnancy test I've kept from an impulse shopping trip at the pharmacy way back then on the very next day, which was 25 July (Monday), and take the test by myself.

Lo and behold, it's positive! Two very distinctly bold lines, not even a bit of hesitation there, it's as if the stick is telling me "oh you're f*king pregnant". My hands started shaking and went on to FaceTime Guy immediately. I caught him in the middle of a Dota game (-.-) but I told him the news anyway. He gave out the biggest smile and asked "REALLY?!" with his eyes still on his game, and I was like "How are you still playing the game?! Your girlfriend is pregnant!", so he muted the game and we started talking about what's gonna happen next.

But at that moment, I still couldn't really believe that I'm pregnant because that pregnancy test I used was from years ago and who knows, it might be faulty and is giving me false results? So I drove out to the nearest pharmacy the next day and bought two more.

(Don't get disgusted, those are just water stains, not pee)

Both tests came out sorta positive, but understandable because I did it in the afternoon and my urine might've been diluted, nevertheless, the lines on the windows are still very much visible.

That's when reality started to sink in. I'M PREGNANT. 

Being pregnant is a blessing, but the one thing I was a little upset about is that I can no longer participate in the Puma Night Run I was supposed to join. My friends and I have been training for it and it would've been a huge accomplishment for me, but then again I can always try for the run again after the baby. So in order to tell them that I'm dropping out, I have to be honest and tell them about the baby, but I didn't want to tell anyone about it before I tell my mom. 

I know my mom would be happy for me no matter what, but it's still a huge news and I was uncertain about how she's going to react right when I break it to her because we've never discussed this before, so it might just catch her off guard and things could get awkward.

So on Thursday morning, I dropped the bomb on her just like that. She didn't jump around for joy and hug me with excitement but she's giggling at the thought of being a grandma now, so I guess that's good right? Her reaction is understandable and just as I expected because it is indeed a HUGE news, but I'm just a no bullshit kind of person and I mean, I crawled out of her vagina, I don't think we need any kind of beating around the bush at this point.

Fast forward to present day, my symptoms include sore boobies, gassiness, fatigue and I became dependent on sugary drinks because it is the only way I feel somewhat normal again with energy level of a regular human being, otherwise I'd feel sluggish and wouldn't be able to get out of bed for the whole day. No morning sickness for now, though I do have a lack of appetite and that pukey feeling, but it could just be the gassiness in my tummy playing tricks on me.

17 August 2016
So we've decided there is indeed going to be a wedding, but just a small and intimate one in Melaka with mostly relatives and the closest of friends. We will have sort of a "replacement wedding" back in KL next year perhaps, so if you weren't invited to this upcoming one, please don't feel left out or anything!

9 October 2016
Guy and I are officially married!

A photo posted by ashley ahn 안시이 (@ashleyahn) on

I don't sing praises about him a lot because we've agreed to not display our affection for each other on social media, which is unexpectedly healthy for our relationship. I get to focus more on the moment whenever we're together and not worry about getting that perfect picture to boast about our amazing date. But nevertheless, he is an amazing man and I love him to death!

17 October 2016
I'm on my 18th week of pregnancy (almost half way through!) and we found out the gender of the baby not too long ago. IT'S A BOY!!!

I didn't have a gender preference but Guy has always wanted a boy so he's overjoyed about this news.

I also made the official announcement on my social media about my pregnancy, which is a relief. Now I can freely document and share my preggo journey online.

Symptoms wise, still extremely bloated and gassy, every single day. I did go through a few good weeks of proper morning sickness, but the peak of it has passed (thank god), still feel nauseous at times but nothing I can't handle at this point. The skin on my stomach is stretching day by day and it can get pretty uncomfortable. And the extreme fatigue seems to be going nowhere.

Now that all is out in the open, here's a video of my third ultrasound session where we found out the gender for the first time. He's growing nicely and actively moving around in the womb! I'll definitely be back with more regular pregnancy updates :)

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